Learning How to BE.

Hi.  My name is Beth Boys.   I’m 32 years old.  And I’m learning how to be…

After 12 years living on a college campus (4 years as a student and 8 years as a professional), I have received and have asked the question “What do you want to be?” about a billion times.  This question translates into a lot of different, deeper questions and I find it isn’t actually asking about being, really.  It’s asking about doing:

• What do you want to DO with your life?
• What do you DO that’s unique?
• What will you DO with the gifts God has given you?
• What do you see yourself DOING in 5 or 10 years?

We do a lot.  We wear a lot of hats. We tend to define ourselves by what we do or don’t do.  We make lists and feel like a million bucks when we check off that last item.  We keep track of our accomplishments (resumés, anyone?).  We discover our strengths and feel proud when we bring them to the table.  We rush around from one thing to the next and along the way we get tired…really tired…but we find ourselves bragging about how much we have done to fall into that exhaustive state.  We are doers. 

Now don’t get me wrong.  There’s nothing wrong with doing great things or knowing who you are and what you bring to the team.  God calls us to work hard and use the gifts he’s given us. So the problem is not in the doing. The problem is when we find our worth in the doing.  

It creeps up, doesn’t it?  The doing.  It especially hits those folks who need words of affirmation or encouragement along the way.  The more we do, the more we are noticed and complimented for what we do.  We start to depend on our mini cheerleading squad in life- constantly spewing out how great we are for doing so much.  It keeps us doing more and more while grasping for little pieces of worth along the way. 

This way of living is exhausting and unsustainable.  It keeps us out of the space in which we can enjoy God in the deepest part of our being.  

Jesus calls us to be.  To come, and rest, and be.  He calls us to lay down our phones, our worries, our coffee dates and be.  He calls us to stop stuffing ever single moment with our jam-packed doing and to enjoy some time just being.  Sounds freeing, doesn’t it?

This is hard for me.  I like my mini cheerleading squad.  I like being busy and I like the feeling of making and checking off my lists.  Sometimes in the being I feel bored or restless.  I sometimes feel like I’m not enough and if I could just check a few more things off the ever-present list everything would start to feel right in the world again.  But, it’s in this quiet space and practice of being that the Lord heals and speaks and settles my soul.  

With eight years of Student Development experience, a couple degrees, and countless completed To-Do lists, I would have never thought I’d be nannying for my sister.  Yes, that’s right.  I’ve laid down the CAB calendar and fun-filled AU weekends in exchange for changing dirty diapers and driving to soccer practice.  (Sometimes I even drive my sister’s mini van!).  I’ve gone from literally living in a beautiful community to having an excruciating amount of alone time.  BE time.  I’ve become extremely aware of my finding worth in the doing.  

Beth with her nieces and nephew.

Let me challenge you today, if you are willing.  You are in a space where doing is what gets you noticed.  Doing is what can give you the feeling of worth, if you let it.  Practice being, whatever that may look like for you.   It may feel a little strange at first. You may get restless. You may need to cancel a few things to lessen your load (gasp!).  You may feel lonely.  But in this practice of being still before God, he will speak, encourage, soothe, and uplift you.  You will soon feel his presence.  Your doing will flow out of your being, and you’ll begin to find worth and meaning in who He created you to BE.

Beth Boys
Career Advising Associate & Director of Student Leadership at AU, August 2011- July 2014