Choose to See

Rachel and the Rice Hall Staff, 2011-2012.

Hey, all! My name is Rachel Harter and I just graduated from AU this past May. During my time at AU, I had the opportunity to serve as an RA in Rice Hall (shout out :D) and South Apartments, as well as a ULC volunteer. About 6 months down the road since graduation, I reflect on each of these positions, and the seasons and lessons they brought with them, quite often. Graduation brought with it an overwhelming amount of life change, in both the best and hardest of ways. Three weeks after graduating, I got married to the greatest man I know (I may be a little biased :D), moved to Indianapolis, which is a new city for me, and began student teaching, which turned into my first “real life” job about halfway through the student teaching process. All incredible blessings and answers to prayers, yet all sometimes hard to be thankful for. 

As I have struggled to thank and to see God at work, I have been reminded of the same struggle I had at AU, specifically as a student leader. Sometimes the jobs and the people that came with them felt like they asked too much, like I could not live up to the expectations in front of me. Sometimes I didn’t see the purpose in what I was doing. Other times I felt lonely and isolated because of the positions I held. These feelings of confusion and doubt were most prevalent throughout my upperclassmen years. So to the juniors and seniors reading this, you’re seen and understood.

I don’t know about you, but it is hard—really, really hard—for me to persevere when I feel purposeless. Not to mention the fact that every insecurity and feeling of inadequacy comes out during such times. In my first job, that came so much sooner than I expected or prepared for, these feelings have been overwhelming. I know a lot of graduates that second guess their every move in their workplaces. This is not meant to scare you, seniors. In a weird way, it has encouraged a lot of us, that we’re all in this together (yep, just quoted High School Musical—can you tell I spend my days with 8^th graders?). 

But through it all, we have a choice. You have the choice now, as student leaders; you’ll have the choice as graduates and as employees at your first “real life” jobs. And whether you feel ready to or not, you will have to make the choice: to see God and allow his grace to work in your life, or to reject it and attempt it on your own. The latter is tempting—believe it, or not. In fact, it’s almost easier to choose. It’s easy to shut yourself off, to fall into negativity, to be a cynic, to distrust the systems and the people in them. It’s easy to choose blindness in your bitterness. 

But choosing to see makes our invisible God, so clearly and vividly visible. It is harder, more challenging, and definitely more stretching on your heart, your mind, and your soul. But it is beautiful. It makes grace awaken and alive in your life. It reminds you to thank and to trust without needing to know the reasons or the answers to the many “whys” you are currently asking. 

This may be a challenge to some, an encouragement to others… But I want you to choose to see. Open your eyes, your heart, your mind, and allow and accept God’s grace that makes Him visible in your life. Choose to thank Him for your position and the ways it challenges you. Choose to trust Him, His plans for you, and the beautiful people He has placed in your life. Choose to appreciate the community you live in; as I’m sure graduates have told you, there is nothing like the environment in which you currently live, at AU. Choose to live with the love and grace that you have been given. Choose to be confident and trusting of your present and your upcoming future. 

Rachel and her husband, Ryan.

As you choose to see, the invisible (what we desire to trust and believe with our whole beings) becomes visible. As you choose to trust, the uncertainty becomes beautiful. As you choose to thank, the mundane or the overbearing or the too much or the not enough becomes more than you could ever have asked for or imagined.

~Rachel Harter
ULC Member, 2012-2014
South Apartments RA, 2012-2013
Rice Hall RA, 2011-2012