Choose to See

Rachel and the Rice Hall Staff, 2011-2012.

Hey, all! My name is Rachel Harter and I just graduated from AU this past May. During my time at AU, I had the opportunity to serve as an RA in Rice Hall (shout out :D) and South Apartments, as well as a ULC volunteer. About 6 months down the road since graduation, I reflect on each of these positions, and the seasons and lessons they brought with them, quite often. Graduation brought with it an overwhelming amount of life change, in both the best and hardest of ways. Three weeks after graduating, I got married to the greatest man I know (I may be a little biased :D), moved to Indianapolis, which is a new city for me, and began student teaching, which turned into my first “real life” job about halfway through the student teaching process. All incredible blessings and answers to prayers, yet all sometimes hard to be thankful for. 

As I have struggled to thank and to see God at work, I have been reminded of the same struggle I had at AU, specifically as a student leader. Sometimes the jobs and the people that came with them felt like they asked too much, like I could not live up to the expectations in front of me. Sometimes I didn’t see the purpose in what I was doing. Other times I felt lonely and isolated because of the positions I held. These feelings of confusion and doubt were most prevalent throughout my upperclassmen years. So to the juniors and seniors reading this, you’re seen and understood.

I don’t know about you, but it is hard—really, really hard—for me to persevere when I feel purposeless. Not to mention the fact that every insecurity and feeling of inadequacy comes out during such times. In my first job, that came so much sooner than I expected or prepared for, these feelings have been overwhelming. I know a lot of graduates that second guess their every move in their workplaces. This is not meant to scare you, seniors. In a weird way, it has encouraged a lot of us, that we’re all in this together (yep, just quoted High School Musical—can you tell I spend my days with 8^th graders?). 

But through it all, we have a choice. You have the choice now, as student leaders; you’ll have the choice as graduates and as employees at your first “real life” jobs. And whether you feel ready to or not, you will have to make the choice: to see God and allow his grace to work in your life, or to reject it and attempt it on your own. The latter is tempting—believe it, or not. In fact, it’s almost easier to choose. It’s easy to shut yourself off, to fall into negativity, to be a cynic, to distrust the systems and the people in them. It’s easy to choose blindness in your bitterness. 

But choosing to see makes our invisible God, so clearly and vividly visible. It is harder, more challenging, and definitely more stretching on your heart, your mind, and your soul. But it is beautiful. It makes grace awaken and alive in your life. It reminds you to thank and to trust without needing to know the reasons or the answers to the many “whys” you are currently asking. 

This may be a challenge to some, an encouragement to others… But I want you to choose to see. Open your eyes, your heart, your mind, and allow and accept God’s grace that makes Him visible in your life. Choose to thank Him for your position and the ways it challenges you. Choose to trust Him, His plans for you, and the beautiful people He has placed in your life. Choose to appreciate the community you live in; as I’m sure graduates have told you, there is nothing like the environment in which you currently live, at AU. Choose to live with the love and grace that you have been given. Choose to be confident and trusting of your present and your upcoming future. 

Rachel and her husband, Ryan.

As you choose to see, the invisible (what we desire to trust and believe with our whole beings) becomes visible. As you choose to trust, the uncertainty becomes beautiful. As you choose to thank, the mundane or the overbearing or the too much or the not enough becomes more than you could ever have asked for or imagined.

~Rachel Harter
ULC Member, 2012-2014
South Apartments RA, 2012-2013
Rice Hall RA, 2011-2012

Learning How to BE.

Hi.  My name is Beth Boys.   I’m 32 years old.  And I’m learning how to be…

After 12 years living on a college campus (4 years as a student and 8 years as a professional), I have received and have asked the question “What do you want to be?” about a billion times.  This question translates into a lot of different, deeper questions and I find it isn’t actually asking about being, really.  It’s asking about doing:

• What do you want to DO with your life?
• What do you DO that’s unique?
• What will you DO with the gifts God has given you?
• What do you see yourself DOING in 5 or 10 years?

We do a lot.  We wear a lot of hats. We tend to define ourselves by what we do or don’t do.  We make lists and feel like a million bucks when we check off that last item.  We keep track of our accomplishments (resumés, anyone?).  We discover our strengths and feel proud when we bring them to the table.  We rush around from one thing to the next and along the way we get tired…really tired…but we find ourselves bragging about how much we have done to fall into that exhaustive state.  We are doers. 

Now don’t get me wrong.  There’s nothing wrong with doing great things or knowing who you are and what you bring to the team.  God calls us to work hard and use the gifts he’s given us. So the problem is not in the doing. The problem is when we find our worth in the doing.  

It creeps up, doesn’t it?  The doing.  It especially hits those folks who need words of affirmation or encouragement along the way.  The more we do, the more we are noticed and complimented for what we do.  We start to depend on our mini cheerleading squad in life- constantly spewing out how great we are for doing so much.  It keeps us doing more and more while grasping for little pieces of worth along the way. 

This way of living is exhausting and unsustainable.  It keeps us out of the space in which we can enjoy God in the deepest part of our being.  

Jesus calls us to be.  To come, and rest, and be.  He calls us to lay down our phones, our worries, our coffee dates and be.  He calls us to stop stuffing ever single moment with our jam-packed doing and to enjoy some time just being.  Sounds freeing, doesn’t it?

This is hard for me.  I like my mini cheerleading squad.  I like being busy and I like the feeling of making and checking off my lists.  Sometimes in the being I feel bored or restless.  I sometimes feel like I’m not enough and if I could just check a few more things off the ever-present list everything would start to feel right in the world again.  But, it’s in this quiet space and practice of being that the Lord heals and speaks and settles my soul.  

With eight years of Student Development experience, a couple degrees, and countless completed To-Do lists, I would have never thought I’d be nannying for my sister.  Yes, that’s right.  I’ve laid down the CAB calendar and fun-filled AU weekends in exchange for changing dirty diapers and driving to soccer practice.  (Sometimes I even drive my sister’s mini van!).  I’ve gone from literally living in a beautiful community to having an excruciating amount of alone time.  BE time.  I’ve become extremely aware of my finding worth in the doing.  

Beth with her nieces and nephew.

Let me challenge you today, if you are willing.  You are in a space where doing is what gets you noticed.  Doing is what can give you the feeling of worth, if you let it.  Practice being, whatever that may look like for you.   It may feel a little strange at first. You may get restless. You may need to cancel a few things to lessen your load (gasp!).  You may feel lonely.  But in this practice of being still before God, he will speak, encourage, soothe, and uplift you.  You will soon feel his presence.  Your doing will flow out of your being, and you’ll begin to find worth and meaning in who He created you to BE.

Beth Boys
Career Advising Associate & Director of Student Leadership at AU, August 2011- July 2014

Compassion

I would first of all like to say thank you, for taking that step of faith to be vulnerable and be a servant leader amongst your peers in order to love and nurture the AU community.  I don’t know many of you, but believe me when I say that I hold each of you in high regard. The time, energy, and passion you give do not go unnoticed, even to an alumnus. As student body president, I was amazed at all the things I missed as a student that you do behind the scenes, and even then I’m sure it was only a fracture of the blessing you are to our campus and community.

This past week I was in church when the pastor was discussing compassion of all things. She said that in Greek compassion literally meant, “to turn over your bowels”.  Not quite the image I expected, nor want to think about. It today's terms it kind of means that knotted feeling you get in your stomach when something is on your heart or mind that you just can’t stop being worked up about. What she said next really got me.

“In that time, compassion wasn’t just a feeling. It was a feeling that required action. Compassion is a verb.”

We can all think of those moments when compassion compelled us to act: when we lose a member of our AU family. When someone on our floor or in our classes is struggling with any number of challenges. When we travel around the world to help the sick and needy.

I think at AU we do that kind of compassion really well. However, I recently watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and I was reminded of a great scene. It’s the scene when Neville stands up to Harry, Ron, and Hermione and tries to stop them from sneaking out. This might seem odd, but to me this was an act of compassion. If compassion is the desire to help someone who is in need, sick, a troubling situation, etc. wasn’t Neville doing just that? He recognized the troubling situation, and desired to intervene because he cared deeply for his friends.

As student leaders, it can be really hard to show that kind of compassion to one another. Standing up to one another in compassion, voicing when we think someone is making poor choices, and helping guide them when they are wandering is scary and makes us vulnerable to one another. After all, who are we to tell our friends they are wrong? 

  

For those of you who aren’t familiar, this is the Johari Window. Box #3 is the area I want to draw your attention to. It’s the part we can’t see about ourselves that others do.

My friends, it is our responsibility, our privilege, and compassion compels us to illuminate these areas in the lives of others. When your “bowels turn over” for a friend: speak up in compassion.

Why?  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 states:

‘Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

We are all flawed, prone to error, and sin. Sometimes we just can’t see where. Praise God we have one another to help us up and to walk in fellowship with.  I can say now, looking back, that some of the best moments at AU were when friends, student leaders, professors, and mentors acted out of compassion and illuminated those blind spots in my life. Those moments weren’t always fun or pleasant, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  I hope that you have individuals around you that will do that for you and that you will have the courage to do that for others.

Kevin and the SGA staff, 2011-2012

I hope you know that you are being prayed for daily, and that even in your most stressed out moments, you are part of a compassionate community of student leaders past and present. You are more than welcome to get a hold of me if you would like someone to pray for you specifically, talk about preparing for life after graduation or anything!

Kevin Sheward
SGA President, 2011-2012

The Beauty of Grace

I was recently reading Shauna Niequist’s book Bittersweet when I came across this quote that made me pause and reflect. When speaking about her feelings on motherhood, Shauna simply said this: “Let’s think about grace – grace from a God who loves us and values us and picks us up every time we fall, with just exactly the same love and tenderness you feel when you pick up your kids after they’ve fallen.”

Have you ever watched a child fall? Have you ever witnessed a small one doing something their own way, with such intensity that they don’t see the danger in front of them? And although you know it’s going to end badly, before you can say anything you idly watch as the child falls into a pile of tears and scrapes? Have you ever watched a baby who, grinning confidently over their success on one step, falls into giant sobs of failure after falling on the second?

Kayleigh and the SLT, 2013-2014

This imagery brings me back to my time as a Children’s Ministry Intern the summer after my sophomore year at AU. The preschoolers I served had a whole area of the gym all to themselves with all the play equipment they could dream of: slides, towers, balls, cars – you get the picture. There was so much joy in these little ones’ eyes. And then, I watched it happen – a girl started running toward the big, beautiful, bouncy ball that she had her eye on, and in all her excitement she tripped just before she reached it. Or the time I watched as two boys playing tag couldn’t stop their momentum when they saw the person in front of them, and the terrible collision of arms and bodies and legs occurred. The tears began and an adult came rushing in for the rescue, the comfort, and the holding. Because sometimes, in the shock of it all, all a child really needs is to be held.

And as the adult holds the fallen child and loves on him, you hear no “I told you so” or “Bad boy!”; rather you hear the tenderness and compassion. The “I love you”s and the “It’s going to be okay”s. The “I’ve got you”s and the “You’re safe”s. You feel the stroking on the back and the kisses on the foreheads. It’s an image of grace, and love, and tenderness.

And this is the image Shauna gave me of our God - the image of Jesus holding us when we fail and when we fall, with tenderness and compassion and love. Without the “I told you so”s , the “You should’ve known better”s and the lectures, but with grace, each and every time we fall.

And let’s be honest, we fall a lot. We aren’t perfect. Some days, you aren’t going to be there for a resident that needs you. Some days you aren’t going to know the right words to say at the right moment, and in fact, you may even pick the very worst ones. There will be times the event you planned will be a total flop. Sometimes you just won’t get it all done in time, and sometimes you’ll completely forget to do things at all. There will be moments you won’t be kind and loving. Some days you won’t want to be a leader.  And if we’re honest, some days you aren’t going to want to talk to God. You’ll let your school work get ahead of your Bible reading. You’ll desire sleep a whole heck of a lot more than you’ll want to get up for church. For a moment, you’ll seek isolation and depression over community and joy. And you know what?

It’s okay.

In fact, in case you haven’t realized it yet – God made you human. God made you fragile. God created you in a way that allowed for failure. If God expected you to never mess up, to be perfect – he would have created us that way. But instead, God gives us freedom, and more importantly (especially for when that freedom leads to us falling down) grace.

Grace that we can’t truly feel until we fall down; until we feel the arms of God pick us back up tenderly as a father would a child who has fallen. And as God picks us up, He whispers:

- “I love you” (Rom 5:8; Zeph 3:17)

- “It’s okay” (2 Corinthians 12:9; Rom. 3:24)

- “I’ve got you” (Psalm 23)

- “I’m with you” (John 14:16-17; Isaiah 41:10)

- “I’ll heal you” (Psalm 107:19-21; Psalm 30:2)

- “I’ll help you” (Isaiah 41:13)

Kayleigh and her husband, Taylor

We were not created to be perfect. We will fail. Allow that to sink in.

In student leadership it is so easy to live into the lie that you always have to have it all together. That there isn’t room for mistakes. But believe me, there is! I challenge you to make mistakes without guilt – make them with grace. Allow our Father to hold you and to teach you. We all make mistakes, but only the wisest of us can use them to make us better instead of bitter.

I hope today, and this year, as you journey through student leadership, you can give and receive grace.  Jesus will be there waiting to hold you.

Blessings,

Kayleigh (Mower) Allred

Morrison Hall DC, 2012-2013

ULC Director, 2013-2014