 |
| Alissa during her time in Uganda |
Hey Friends! My name is Alissa Cain and I graduated
from AU last May with a degree in nursing and Spanish. I am currently living in San Diego,
California and just started my first full time nursing job. My time at AU was so rich with experiences,
sorrow and oh so much growth. I
served as an RA in Martin and South, was the president of BOUND the
anti-trafficking group on campus, was part of Camarada, helped lead and start
the GAP, worked at Health Services (seriously THE best place to work on all of
campus) and then to say the least, abused the Tri-S program and went to
Tanzania, Australia, Greece, and Uganda.
I was an avid fan of hammocking in the campgrounds, running endless
laps around the track at Kardatzke, and spending ridiculous hours on the second
floor of the library studying.
I have something to
share that God has been speaking over my life for years. One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist
states it so eloquently in titling one of her chapters, “Writing in Pencil”. I am known amongst my friends for
saying it this way, “learning to hold loosely” to the things that aren’t mine
to cling to. This is an image of
living with our hands completely open before us, not with our hands clenched to
dreams and hopes and ideals that are not ours to hold on tightly to. So I thought what better way to
illustrate this truth than with a recent travel story of mine.
Recently I had quite the
planes, trains, and automobiles type story. So much of my life has been spent traveling, exploring, and realizing so many
new things about other cultures and the world. Tri-S was a huge part of this for sure. Recently I had yet another missed
standby flight. Flying standby is one of the greatest and most stressful gifts
of my life right now. If there are open seats, it's the cheapest way to fly. If
there are not open seats, anxiety rides high as I determine how to get from
point a to point b. In true standby fashion, I didn't get on my international
flight back to the states from the Dominican Republic. My perfectly planned
trip home wasn't about to happen. I had put stock in this plan for weeks and
was let down and disappointed. I quite naturally had a bit of a breakdown as I despaired
about how to get home for a new job and gave way to my exhaustion from
being in wedding number 12. I let a few frustrated tears fall and utilized my
resources at the airport to try and figure out how to get home. Finally a dear
friend came to pick me up at the airport while I regrouped and found plan b
which consisted of taking a bus to another city, buying an international ticket
back to the states, almost getting stranded in New York's giant blizzard,
running through customs like a crazy woman, sweating and crying as I found out
all the flights for the day had left before New York shut down their airport
for two days, miraculously coming up with a plan w and flying to Florida of all
places to spend the night in the airport alone, to then catch an early flight
to Houston, to then miss another flight to San Diego, to then fly to Orange
County area, to then take a train to San Diego. Needless to say, not a
single one of my plans came to fruition. Story of my life. Not to mention
all the laughable ugly moments along the way.
 |
| Martin Hall Staff, 2011-2012 |
The point to all of
this story is this: so much of my life has been spent planning and banking
on events going a certain way, the way I had planned, the way I had prayed for. In my time at AU, I thought that I
would always have it all together, get perfect grades all throughout nursing
school (this is impossible by the way), graduate with my very own ring by
spring, and get the perfect job right out of school. None of these things could have been further from the
truth. And, so often I was
unbelievably disappointed that things didn’t go my way. I would get discouraged and this would
lead to despair and the cycle would repeat itself.
And oh so often life goes quite the
opposite way that I planned. I think I know what is best for myself, I think I
have it all together, I think my ideals are perfect. I cling to my well thought
out plans. And then low and behold, plans change, disappointment happens, life changes
direction, things are not the way I hoped they would be. What then am I to do
when the thing, situation or person that I had banked on is ripped from my
tight grasp? If this is a reality of day to day life, how does one let go and
fully surrender? How do I moment by moment submit to my loving Father and
faithful Shepherd and fully lay down my ideals and my hopes and desires and
then in the same breath embrace the adventure of not knowing how everything is
going to turn out and choosing to simply live in the present? Proverbs 16:19 says, “In their hearts,
humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” What if we were a people that simply
submitted to the ways the Lord chooses to establish our next steps?
A friend posted this
quote a few months ago and it has been embedded in my mind ever since.
Naturally the great C.S. Lewis wrote it and said, “Imagine yourself as a
living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can
understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the
leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you
are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way
that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He
up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the
one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor
there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made
into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come
and live in it Himself.”
 |
| South/Tara RA Staff, 2012-2013 |
The explanation to all
the plans that have changed or have gone so differently than the way I
expected? It's this. God knows better than I do. He sees the whole house
build when I can only see the portion that he is building and working
on right now. I want to take control, I want to decide how the house is
going to be constructed and designed, but that’s not my job. My job is to
live in the present, to trust him with my day, to rely on His faithful
character, never ending promises and to walk in His truth. My role is not
to take the building materials from his hand, as I pridefully often
do when I think I know what is best. I have to consciously choose to
walk in His ways, to trust that He is for me, and to trust that one day I will
see how each part of the house takes shape and turns out. And, I have no
doubt as I have seen time and time again in other parts of the house, that the
final product will be more glorious, whole, and radiant with honor to Him
than anything I could have ever dreamed in the first place. My time at AU is a perfect example of
this, so much didn’t go how I planned or expected. But, in all reality the amount of growth, new life, freedom
and joy that came from holding loosely to my plans and trusting God with the
process is truly a gift that I now value more then anything.
Alissa Cain
Martin Hall RA, 2011-2012
South Campus RA, 2012-2013
No comments:
Post a Comment