Self Love

I want to draw your attention to a verse that many of you may be familiar with: Colossians 3:12.

It reads: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (NIV) I appreciate the way this verse is worded in the Message translation. It reads: “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offence. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” (Message)

As we digest scripture like this, our initial tendency seems to be to apply these principles to those in our sphere of influence: our friends, our family members, our co-workers, our volunteers, our residents. That tendency is wholly honorable and is likely exactly why you hold the type of influential position that you do on this campus. However, I want to challenge you today to take the principles conveyed in this verse and apply them to the way that you treat yourself.

During my time at AU, I have come to realize that there is no greater critic of the manner in which I live my life than me. I truly am my own worst enemy. I often find myself criticizing the ways in which I do and say things more harshly than I would ever criticize those living life around me. “What’s the matter with you?” “Why can’t you do anything right?” “When will you finally get it together?” “When will you ever be good enough?” These questions are truly cringe-worthy. If you were to observe these questions being asked of one of your peers (a friend, a resident, a classmate), you would become visually uncomfortable with the way in which they were being treated. Why then are we so comfortable criticizing ourselves in this way? Why is it so hard for us to show ourselves the same love, grace, and understanding that we so easily show others? Writer and public speaker, Holly Gerth, challenges us to love ourselves in the following way: “Can you take that harsh hand off your heart and let him hold you instead? Can you trade your criticism for his gentleness and your impatience with yourself for his everlasting care? He has promised to complete what he has started in you, and it happens not by force but by faith.”

There’s no question about it. Living life is hard, and there is no shortage of critics out there just waiting for an opportunity to kick us while we’re down. You know what though? You are as deserving of love and grace as the next person. You are taking life on, one step at a time, and for that, you deserve a pat on the back and a genuine “I believe in you.” Keep doing what you’re doing, friends. You’re impacting the hearts of those living life on this campus. Show yourself some love today! It looks great on you!

Shari recently went sky diving for the first time.  She would say she was "embracing bold."

Shari Stadelmayer

ULC Member, 2013-2014

The Art of Confrontation

I was an RA for three years at Anderson University in East Central Indiana. I am now a RD at Grove City College in western Pennsylvania. It would be pretty easy for me to say the things I learned directly correlate with what I do now, and there is definitely an element of truth in that. However, I learned many things during my time as an RA that benefit me as a human being, not just as an RD. I hope to highlight a couple areas of my life that have grown because of my time in student leadership.

I have learned not only how to confront but also the benefits of confrontation. Many people under the age of thirty that I have come across are not able to confront because of fear. Our generation cares more about what strangers think of us than about doing what is right. It seems like whenever someone does get confronted it is always by someone over 50. I think that is largely because of our generation’s fear of conflict. I had a great experience at the Grove City YMCA the other day. I was deadlifting and a YMCA employee around my age (24) came up to me and asked me to please stop deadlifting because the weights were making too much noise. I was so surprised to see someone my age confronting me for what I was doing. It was pretty nice to be on the other side of confrontation. I wasn’t even mad; I was just surprised. Did I agree with the rule? No. But, I appreciated seeing someone do the right thing and not caring what a stranger thought about her because a greater community standard was at stake.

The benefits of confrontation, in my mind, are clear: we are providing accountability to rules and structures that allow us an opportunity to live into the type of people we want to become. Accountability is not about confronting someone when they are wrong. Accountability is an opportunity to point people to the way we want people to be. I had a couple of accountability partners in college and without their help, I don’t know if I would have grown the way I did in college. They had a vision for me of who God wanted me to become and used accountability to help me to become that man. Our goal in student life is to use the structures and rules around us to point others towards being the type of people God wants them to become. I believe this is something that we all can bring into our lives and to those we live around.

My hope is that you will use your time in leadership to develop some skills that are dreadfully lacking in our generation as a whole. My hope is that we will be people who value the community over whether or not we will be liked by someone. My hope is that we will use accountability not to name someone’s mistake but rather to push others to what God wants them to become. My hope is that your time as a student leader will develop you in a way that has a profound impact on the rest of your life, like it has had on my life.

Ross Harris,
Smith Hall RA, 2009-2012

Ross and the Smith Hall staff, 2011-2012.

I believe! Help my Unbelief.

Student Leaders –

First of all, I commend you. It is already October, which means you have likely handled your first “crisis” as a student leader. It may be something simple like finding all the bathrooms in Decker to hang issues of Stall Talk (been there) or something a little more challenging, like working through a difficult rooming situation with some of your residents as an RA (done that). You’ve also probably realized that these situations, even the simple ones, take both time and energy – probably even more than you expected when you signed on for the job.

When I was asked to write a note of encouragement for student leaders, I thought about my days on campus. I served as an RA for a year in Martin, and I served as the director of the University Leadership Council (ULC) for a year. The ULC supports and encourages student leaders. Both of these experiences were incredibly meaningful to me (and I would not change them one bit), but there was a degree of time and energy required for these positions that I did not expect.

Keeping my door open, even when I had lots of homework. Late-night conversations with residents, even when I needed sleep. Planning events (and continuing to plan events), even when they weren’t well attended. Thinking of encouraging activities for student leaders, even when I felt like there were no creative juices left in my body. I was often worn out. I was often functioning on little sleep. I was often – quite simply – exhausted. I knew my job responsibilities as an RA and ULC director; however, I still needed the strength of the Lord.

It may be a loose connection, but this makes me think of a passage I heard a few weeks ago in church from Mark. In Mark 9, a boy’s father seeks the healing touch of Jesus for his son, who is affected by an evil spirit that makes him mute and foam at the mouth. The father approaches Jesus and asks for help if Jesus can do anything. “And Jesus said to him, ‘If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.’ Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:23-24).

I believe you know what to do in your role, just like I knew my responsibilities when I was in your shoes. You know the standards you are held to as a member of student leadership. You know the right example to set and the wrong example to avoid. Your judgment and discernment are likely some of the reasons you are in the position you are. The father in this story knows Jesus can heal his son (“I believe”). However, he also knows that he still needs the help of the Lord (“help my unbelief”). In the context of your environment, it may look something like this:

• I believe I can make connections with my residents; Lord, help give me the confidence to speak up and seize opportunities to do so. Help me when I don’t believe.
• I believe I can set an example to others; Lord, help me resist temptation and don’t let me give in to my earthly desires. Help me when I don’t believe.   
• I believe I can serve others; Lord, give me the strength, energy, and time to do that. Help me when I don’t believe.  

I’d encourage you to be prayerful and ask the Lord to come alongside you and “help your unbelief.” “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Working in student leadership can be exhausting and tiring (especially with a full academic schedule), but the dividends are huge. Some of my closest college friends are the girls I worked alongside in Martin Hall from 2006-2007. My now-husband Kyle was a Smith Hall RA, and we had our first date when his floor planned a roommate date in 2007. Rely on the Lord for strength, especially when you feel like you can’t handle one more crisis, even if it is as simple as finding every last bathroom in Decker.

Laura (Burgher) Schroeder graduated in 2009 with a degree in Language Arts Education. She is married to Kyle Schroeder (’10). They live in Indianapolis with their seven-month-old daughter Lydia and Golden Retriever named Sadey.          

Penguins, Presence, and Purpose

The joy of Leah Gilbert is well depicted in this photo.

My name is Leah Gilbert, I moved to Virginia Beach one month ago to intern in Youth Ministry, and I really love the Lord and his most marvelously adorable creation, penguins. That’s pretty much all you need to know for now.

Usually when I blog I tend to write more lengthy “essay-esque” entries. They typically begin with a story of a recent event that leads to some kind of revelation and finish with my ever-so-deep conclusion about living a life following Jesus. Well, not this time. You’re probably busy, and let’s be real—you ain’t got time for that.

To be honest, I asked the Lord what I could write that could potentially bring some spiritual refreshment to you leaders. So, I have a numbered list of advice inspired by things I’ve learned and am still learning in ministry. Now, before you read it, let me be clear: anything that is wise about this list is from the Lord, not me. Seriously. And because I just can’t resist, I will add a small story to prove my point:

I recently got a job (in addition to my internship) because I was so lost trying to find my way around a new city that I accidentally drove through the wrong parking lot and stumbled upon a “Now Hiring” sign. If that doesn’t prove it I don’t know what else will.

Anyway…

1. Identify yourself as a son or daughter of God before anything else. This comes before your position on Impact, before your schoolwork, and anything else. It’s true that you are a student, a mentor, a ministry coordinator, a Peer Mentor, an RA, etc. It’s truer that you are a child of the Living God who never abandons the apple of his eye. If there’s anything I’ve learned in ministry, it’s that what you do comes out of who you know you are. Before anything else came to be you were loved by him, and after everything you’ve ever accomplished or failed trying you will be loved by him all the same. That kind of Kingdom-thinking has lifted many burdens off of my shoulders. 
2. Lean into the process. You guys can thank Stu Erny for this little nugget of heavenly wisdom. Because guess what—the process of growing and learning isn’t completed after you graduate college (you read my story above, right? Case in point). You are in the process of becoming more and more like Jesus every day. This job you’re doing is just part of that process. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You are allowed to make mistakes. However, leaning into the process doesn’t mean going about your responsibilities willy-nilly. Allow yourself mistakes because that’s how you learn the importance of grace and discipline, not laziness. 
3. Embrace AU community while you are still in it. Okay, that one sounded really ominous. Let me expand on that before you skip this point altogether. Throughout all of my years at AU I was told, “You’ll NEVER have community like this again, so enjoy it while you can.” Let me be clear that I don’t believe that for one second. It is not true that you’ll never be in such an amazing community again. Believing that lie will do yourself a great injustice once you leave college because you’ll have lost all hope of ever having true community. What I have found to be true is that I am thankful I pressed in to AU’s community while I had the chance, because once I left, I knew that kind of community was important enough to me that I wanted to work to place myself in it again. It is true that that same kind of community won’t be as easily accessible, but it’s not impossible. Your best friends might not live across the hall from you after college, but that does not mean you’re limited from ever sharing life with others again. Learn what that community looks like by embracing it now, and then create it again when you leave college. We need each other like the body needs all of its parts to fully function (okay maybe not the appendix but whatever). 
4. And last but certainly not least: Go to Christmas at the zoo and see the adorable penguins. Seriously, it’ll make you smile and you can thank me later. Go by yourself, with your floor, or on a roommate date. I don’t care. Just go. (Attention RAs: if you organize a roommate date event, don’t pretend like it’s a set-up for marriage. I had some really awkward moments during freshman year thanks to some “romantic” stories about spouses meeting on roommate dates.)
   
   

   

   Leah and her adorable nephew, Landon.

Sorry, that was probably longer than you thought it’d be. I’ll know who got to the end based on who messages me about the penguins at Christmas time ;)

Blessings,

Leah Gilbert

Peer Mentor 2011-2012

Prayer Ministry Coordinator 2012-2014